[ The Memories ]
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4.30.2011
i've been reading blogs of people but i haven't had the time to creat a post. right now i don't have anything much of importance to post really. it's either i'm not in mood or to busy to think of anything to post at all. but rather it's more of the latter i think.
holy week had passed and by that time me and my housemates had a lot of plans to do or supposed to do at that time. like we're supposed to buy ingredients for food that we should be cooking and "only" eating. marissa, one of our housemates even volunteered to cook us sumandayon (another term for puto maya). and when she said that, instead of me and tanya being amazed at the thought of her cooking us something special, we just laughed at the term. we were like, "what the heck is that?" hahhaa...good thing marissa got humor and understood our being funny.
i have always been a catholic and will always be a catholic but i really never had the time to think and really internalized every single detail of my christianity. i am a believer but i don't care much about the beliefs of my religion. i mean i believe in God and i honor him as my saviour, my God, and my redeemer. however, i never really delve into understanding my religion at its depth. i never ask but i always question it.
not asking about my religion is not similar as not accepting or believing in it. maybe i don't really consider everything about it as a fact but i never ruin it's reputation though. sometimes, in my opinion, you just have to think that it has flaws as well like us humans. we never really know what is the truth behind the scriptures. and we don't also know if everything there is in it would save us.
i admit that i am not really a devoted christian. i mean i have a God like you but i don't focus on what my religion dictates me to do because for a fact i have my own life to manage and own brains to see the reality. i decided to not believe and not devote myself with my religion because i don't wanna hurt other religions. i don't want to be close-minded and think, just think, that i am the only person who has the right to be saved coz of the doctrines that has been part of my life. after all the purpose why we were all created is to have a better place if not the best. it's not to create a whole lot of trouble, distraction, or gap. but since we are always trying to procreate we tend to forget why we live. we suppress the main reason of living, of loving. and we don't see our main purpose in life.
main reason why i'm writing this blog is to not create any confusion about what i really believe in. i simply wanna say that i don't just rely my life and decisions with what the scripture is saying. rather i do everything that it asks of me - to love my neighbors as i love myself. in other words, love and respect all people without minding their beliefs, religion, race coz we were created equal.
^_^
Labels: realizations, REFLECTIONS
+ yaNix + 4/30/2011 05:59:00 PM
4.03.2011
entrance exam. enrollment. first day. new found friends. school life. learning and fun. graduation. and now i miss my college life.
entrance exam
at first i wasn't aware, oh no, i wasn't sure yet on which school should i choose. all i thought at that time was that i want to study communication, i want to be a journalist. i didn't really think of anything else as long as i will be able to take the course that i wanted. at that time my parents wouldn't allow me to take my course. they don't like it coz they thought i wouldn't have a future. they thought that my chosen field is so much of a nonsense. oops sorry for the term. hmm, it's not nonsense but they just thought that i wouldn't find success in it. but then again i still took the entrance exam and just go with the flow. i wasn't even sure if i'm really gonna pass it. i'm also sure that i'll really study in that university. but what the heck i pass and so i continued my journey in my university.
enrollment.
then enrollment comes. i was actually with my cousin then. i'm not familiar with the campus then. i don't know anything about it. i have no idea at all. i was plain ignorant about the school itself. i don't even know that it's one of the ATENEO schools. haha. and i was so shock to know that BS DEVELOPMENT COMMUNICATION (the course that i took) was under the COLLEGE OF AGRICULTURE. i've no idea at all. haha.
first day.
the only thing that i remember during the very first day of class was that i was so meek. i don't talk with anybody. i just wait for people to say "hi" to me before i would even talk. i was just there in the corner waiting for the class to start. and i remember that the first class was biology. that day we didn't really had a real class. we were just required to go to class so that we would have time to introduce ourselves and to get familiar with all the things about the school, subjects and everything that has to do with college life. that very day was like wow. i had mixed emotions. but after that all the first days of my college days has never been so great.
newfound friends.
i found friends. yes. in college i found real friends. i made friends. in fact, that was one of the best-est times of my life. i learned a lot of things about life, about relationships (though i never had a boyfriend), and about myself. i felt human. i was treated like human.
school life.
college was never that easy but i never thought of it that way not until i reached 4th year. that time i thought, oh i really decided to just give up and stop hoping that i could graduate on time. but thank goodness i found the courage to not give up and to fight for my education - for my future. college life was just so great. i learned so many things and had fun.
learning and fun.
all the laughters and tears i shed were surreal. nothing was fake or fabricated (though sometimes you just need to make everything seems so real). yeah, we made stories to pass. stories we made ourselves to pass our subjects but though those stories were fantasies or beyond our imagination still we felt those were real. all those things were genuine coz we never felt like we were not part of it. everytime we do something we always include our feelings. we always put our feelings and mind to it that's why there's always fun, fun, and fun.
graduation.
and then graduation came. i never expected it. i mean i know i will graduate but i never thought that it would really come. but that day i was just so happy and all. i couldn't think of an exact emotion to define how i really felt that day. all i was thinking was i can have a future. and that this moment i was in on that day was a dream come true.
wow. am i really old or what? i think i'm just reminiscing all that was in the past. haha. oh well what can i do? i just miss college. i miss my friends. i miss everything. hope to see all of them so soo. ^_^
Labels: friends, life, love, realizations, REFLECTIONS
+ yaNix + 4/03/2011 04:55:00 PM
4.01.2011
i've come to realize that i simply cannot get over this blog. this has been my companion when i have no one. this has been my bestfriend - trusted friend. the hell i care if people may read this (if ever there is even someone). i simply love writing and keeping secrets to this ever loved blog.
but this is not about how i feel about this blog and all. this entry is about how i've been feeling for the past months now. since i started working i have never felt easy. there's always stress and feeling of being afraid all the time.
yes, i have always been afraid. why? because i am not always secure of my future. i cannot hold my future. i cannot control it and so with how my customers rate the level of service i have given them. (oh btw, this is not green or anything. this is serious man.)
the first 2 weeks of training was fun and exciting. but everytime we had our tests i always tremble coz i don't always get the right answer. following 4weeks was like full of trials. all were serious. everything was like wooohhooo what are these things. following month gave my life spices. i felt everything. it was mixed emotion that i felt. no exact one feeling. but i love it. i succumb myself to it. and i love all the stress i felt.
now, i am on the same track. i am scared again. i don't know if i'll pass this. but please, do help me with this. i do want this. i badly need this.
still, i'm scared
+ yaNix + 4/01/2011 09:48:00 PM
just created my skype acct....weeeee....
add me up...
username: dianixism
+ yaNix + 4/01/2011 08:33:00 PM
