[ The Memories ]
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12.31.2009
i was FLIPPED. this book is written by a-not-so-famous-author. but despite that fact he/she has written something worthwhile. flipped is in fact not-a-love-story but would surely make you LOVE love. yes, it can make you understand love, fall in love, and fall out of love. it's a crush turned puppy love turned friendship story of two youngsters who never found true love in the end yet are willing to wait for the proper lighting (as they labeled it). so here are the lovable quotes which caught me in the middle.
...i realized that to me, there had only ever been one boy, bryce. - julianna
i'll ride my bike all the stinking way to school for the rest of eternity if it means being with her. - bryce
i'll never be the same again. - bryce
maybe it's time to meet him in the proper light. - julianna
but every once in a while you find someone who's iridiscent, and when you do, nothing will ever compare.
the choices you make now will affect you for the rest of your life.
proper lighting is everything.
...and i'll wait for that time to come.
Labels: inspiration, love
+ yaNix + 12/31/2009 10:06:00 PM
...paggawa na ba ng kabutihan ang hindi paggawa ng kasamaam? - alamat ng gubay by bob ong
karamihan sa atin ay marahil magtatanong nang katanungang ito. totoo nga ba ito? mapapatunayan mo ba na ang paggawa ng isang karumal-dumal na krimen ay kasamaan at ang pananahimik ay kabutihan? hindi ko alam. sa aking palagay parehong mali ang dalawang ito ngunit hindi ko maisip kung ang hindi nga ba paggawa ng bagay na masama o makakasakit sa kapwa ay maihahanlitulad na sa sakripisyong ginawa ng DIYOS para sa sangkatauhan. sa isip ko ay puno ng pagkabahala hinggil sa kabutihan at kasamaan. ano nga ba ang kabutihan at ano ang kasamaan? sa puntong ito hindi ko parin nasagot ang napakahirap at magulong tanong na ito. ngunit iisa lamang ang aking nasisiguro hindi kasamaan ang kabutihan.
Labels: beautiful minds
+ yaNix + 12/31/2009 09:49:00 PM
those who don't appreciate life don't deserve life. - from the very bloody yet interesting movie saw 2Labels: beautiful minds, bloody-hell
+ yaNix + 12/31/2009 09:49:00 PM
we have known much about cinderella. we have read and watched many stories about cinderella. but have you ever felt deeply engrossed with her story? well, in one of the books i've read i was. chinese cinderella by adeline yen mah is such a novel which evokes intense emotion. i was down. i felt terrible. i was so blessed. so here are the words which caught me aback.
all covet, all lose. - ye ye
...whenever you are in a crisis, you are in the midst of danger as well as opportunity. - ye ye
...you can vanquish the demons only when you yourself are convinced of your won worth. - ye ye
...one day you'll show the world what you are really made of. - ye ye
...everything else can be made better or cheaper or faster, but not land. it's the only commodity that can never be duplicated or replaced. - ye ye; this line refers to the earth
though life has to be lived forward, it can only be understood backward. - ye ye
...in my other life - my real life - i'm not worthless. they respect me. - yen jun-ling
this one is actually a true-to-life-story of yen jun-ling better known as adeline yen mah. she is a chinese citizen who moved to the US (i think i'm not sure of that anymore). ye ye is her grandfather who loved her so much. hmmm, as you can see most of my liked quotes are told by ye ye because he got the best advices. this story is hurtful and admirable.
Labels: hope, hurt, love
+ yaNix + 12/31/2009 09:49:00 PM
after reading all those books written in english, i never forget to read filipino-authored books especially BOB ONG'S books. every books he has are good reads so i'd like to thank shane and tanya for letting me borrow their books. haha. so here are the lines which touched me deeply.
hindi ka bayani dahil sa mga kaya mong gawin. bayani ka dahil sa mga ginagawa mo. - mang ernesto
hindi alam ng mga nakakakita kung kelan sila bulag. -tessa
this book is one of bob ong's books which evokes much emotion. this asks you to laugh, cry, and feel for every character in the book. this book is may be a fantasy but behind that fantasy it tells you is a good heart which asks you to change your heart. it goes beyond story-telling.
Labels: fantasy, hope, hurt, love
+ yaNix + 12/31/2009 09:39:00 PM
now this one are quotes or lines from the book of PAULO COELHO called for one more day.
when you're rotten about yourself, you become rotten to everyone else, even those you love.
sticking with your family is what makes it a family.
both these quotes have impact on me. the first one is very admirable because for all you know i've been rotten myself. i have thought of all possible reasons just to be praised and loved by everyone. the second one is what i really need right now but the question is should we be together just to make our family a family when in fact all of us suffer because we're together? i don't know and i wouldn't know.
but above all this book is such a good read. it's about losing and loving your mother even more even if she's dead.Labels: death, family, love, mother
+ yaNix + 12/31/2009 09:38:00 PM
so these are wonderful lines from the book entitled memories of my melancholy whores. i'm sorry to say that i forgot the author (which i seldom do haha).
sex is the consolation you have when you can't have love.
age isn't how old you are but how old you feel.
the adolescents of my generation, greedy for life, forgot in body and soul about their hopes for the future until reality taught them that tomorrow was not what they had dreamed, and they discovered nostalgia.
now this book really made my day since i finished reading it. it is so wonderful. the story was so fruitful and full of love and admiration. take note that the male character fell in love with a teenager when he was about ninety years old. when he was still young he loved but never love deeply. he never felt true love until he found the love of his life - the teenager whom he can never have.Labels: hurt, love
+ yaNix + 12/31/2009 09:27:00 PM
some of us may have different interpretations about mother as a noun or simply as a word. some might think that only women who are able to conceive a child can be called mothers. others suggest that anybody can be a mother regardless of sexuality as long as he/she has the heart to love others specially young children as his/her own. but, last night's or just 12 o'clock this morning, a priest (i forgot his name but he's seen on tv on abs-cbn's sunday tv mass) said that there are 3 types of mother. these are:
literal mother - literal because this is the first meaning of mother to everyone. this is the biological mother per se.
canonical mother - this is the mother who is not your bioligal mother. this is the one whom you consider as your adviser in life - your godmother/father.
theological or mystical mother - now this one's the best of all mother. this is the kind of mother who would love you dearly. this is what you call the spiritual mother or those mother who is so religious to the point that he/she is willing to give up his/her life just to save his/her daughter/son.
we may have different views about mother but let's be a mother to everyone who needs so much love.Labels: love, mother
+ yaNix + 12/31/2009 08:54:00 PM
12.30.2009
okay so i'm supposed to post a picture unfortunately the connection won't let me. so i'll just post anything for tonight. hahaLabels: nothing
+ yaNix + 12/30/2009 05:06:00 AM
“If relying my character to the so-called role models i have would devalue my worth and put my life to waste then i would dispose them off not in a way of forgetting them but to treat them as individuals and not as the goddesses in my dreams.”
I once written and posted this on my tumblr, facebook, and plurk. Well, the words were not really these words. Some, especially on the latter part, were changed coz I forgot the exact words and I'm kind of tired looking for it on my other social networking accounts. Haha, such a lazy girl. So yeah I’ve written something like this and posted it and let everybody in the cyberspace see what I have in mind.
The main reason really of writing this is because I want to just forget all the factors which led me to devalue my worth and existence. Hmm, I did not really forgot who I am in the first place but I simply felt unimportant and am not proud of who I am. You would want to ask me why right? Why I felt unimportant? And why I am proud of myself? Well, I felt unimportant because everybody would remember me only when they don’t have anybody with them or they remember me because of my group (the people I am with). I am absolutely un-proud of myself because I’ve done many things and put many efforts into it but nobody realizes that. Even my father doesn’t feel those efforts.
I’ve been feeling this self-pity because of the so many factors the world tries to give to me straight. Like the fact about beauty. I mean they have this certain requirements or epitome of real beauty which I am not a part of. Again you might ask me why. I do not belong because for the world real beauty would fall into a young lady who is good looking. The characteristics of a good looking are fair-skinned, tall, skinny, etc.
And so I decided to set specific individuals who would be my role models. They’ve been my role models for years because of their beauty, talents, family they belong, and coz of their brains.
Whew! That’s all I can do for all these – just sigh because I know I couldn’t be like them. I could be nobody else but myself. I would want to love myself and forget about all these crap but there are just factors that drive me to pretend. Hmm, don’t think wrongly about that. What I mean by “pretend” is that I seldom enclose myself into my created world. I seldom think of my own reality (which by the way is just a made reality). And I want to give it all up. I want to be me – to love me.
P.S. I am really demented! ;pLabels: hurt, selfishness
+ yaNix + 12/30/2009 04:28:00 AM
12.27.2009
to you what is christmas and why do you celebrate christmas? during the mass on the 24th of december, our priest preached about christmas, of course. he asked us, well he did not really asked us but he kind of told us something. he said that nowadays people celebrate christmas because of the following:
christmas gifts - ever since kris kringle started, it has already become part of the tradition of everyone all over the world. there's no christmas without gift-giving. may it be a christmas card, expensive things, etc. but should gift-giving be part of christmas? i mean what if we give this tradition up? can we do that in this time wherein people are already getting materialistic?
christmas carol - well this obviously is a big part during christmas season. everywhere you go there'll be people especially kids carolling at almost everyone's house. but the question is, do these kids know exactly what they're singing?
"christmas food" (those food which are a bit pricey and mostly eaten during christmas like ham, keso de bola, etc.) - now these can never and shouldn't be taken for granted. an average filipino would surely make an effort to at least buy some food for christmas eve and new year. whethere they have money to buy food or not they would surely do everything just to eat yummy food at this season. but should they make extra effort in giving their families delicious food only during christmas season?
see, a lot of us has been brainwashed. i mean many of us have forgotten the real meanig of christams. it's christ's birth and not just to feel happiness and enjoyment. well, of course, we have to be happy for it is the time when our saviour was born but it is more than that. we shouldn't just celebrate because classes is off and we can have gifts or anything. but we should celebrate because it's a sign of being free and safe.Labels: christmas
+ yaNix + 12/27/2009 05:51:00 AM
lately i've been blogging about my angst unto my father. yeah, in a way it made me feel good coz it helped in releasing all the tensions inside me. however, it made me think, think, and think. i was kind of ashamed after days of blogging it. why, because i put my father to shame. well, it's normal for a young girl like me to just blog about the things i don't like but it simply made me mad about myself. i don't really wanna hate anybody else especially those whom i value so much. and for that, i just wanna say sorry to my father!Labels: sorry
+ yaNix + 12/27/2009 05:45:00 AM
12.26.2009
Less than 6 hours from now is Christmas day. Christ’s birthday is again celebrated. People all over the world will be merry. Happiness will again prevail. But, can I laugh or even smile at His birthday when all I have in my heart is gloom and all I could think of is evil? Oh no, it’s not evil. I mean I’m no better than an angel but I’m no worse than a demon. I’m just plain human being who feels bad and good at any particular moment in such situation. And now, because of what I’ve found out, I don’t really know. I mean I don’t have any reason to really enclose myself in my very comfort zone but I do have the reason to be a bit sad. Finding out what I heard was not the most that hinders my celebration but the thing that I could not even do something about it. I couldn’t have the courage to tell my mom or anybody else about it. I want to keep it to myself but I’m afraid that this would soon bloom into hatred. I’m tired of hating. I’m really sick of it already. I just want to live peacefully and happily. But, I don’t know how with all these lies I know.
P.S. i've written this exactly 6 hours before christmas but it's just that now that i uploaded this. hahaLabels: christmas
+ yaNix + 12/26/2009 05:10:00 AM
March 24, 1990. 2:35 am.
Just this day, my parents must have been so happy and blessed. This day was my first breath. This was the very moment they must have been waiting for. After 10 years of marriage finally a newborn’s entity has seen mother earth.
By then I was ignorant in everything. I don’t know who I was. I even don’t have feelings. All I can do was cry all the time. Crying was my escape to everything. It’s all I can do. It’s my rescue. In crying I can find goodness. I can be free from all the hurts and lack I’ve encountered.
When I was younger all I see was beauty. All I can feel was happiness or so I say to myself. I was easily fooled. I’m such a gullible to believe everything and trust everyone. But never did I felt fooled and used because I was such a kindhearted individual.
Then came the tragic revelation. It was in my third grade. I was 8 by then about to be 9 years old for the next few months. My parents and I went to a lawyer somewhere in Don Carlos, Bukidnon. At that point in time I was clueless of what’s really happening. I was even asking my mom to buy me something coz I was hungry. I think I was craving for ice cream. I didn’t wonder nor ask any question coz I was just happy. I was happy for no reason.
Long hours had passed. We were still there at that house. I still know nothing until I ask my mom why we were there. She was a bit aback. And I don’t know why but still she answered my query. She said we were there coz my pop was visiting his friend – his lawyer friend. Still I was feeling no hint of mess. I continued playing in my own world. I was like daydreaming.
A few more hours had passed. We were on our four-wheeled-drive-car and about to go home. I was singing when suddenly my mom burst into tears. I was startled. I was dumb. Then she said, “ngano man?” which is translated to why. I was looking at my pop. Then he said, “mao ganing niadto ta dadto kay para masulbad ni atong problema. Ibangga ko man hinuon ni karon.” In other words my pop said that’s why we went there coz I want this problem solved. If you won’t stop crying I might crash this.
Suddenly we were at our house. My mom kept crying. I tried to comfort her. Then my pop went upstairs and told my mom that he’s conscience is eating him already and he wants to change. He wants to forget the girl. After saying that, he went somewhere and I’ve no idea where. My mom and I were left at our house. She was crying and I was numb. After releasing all her tensions she went downstairs and I was left crying. I don’t know exactly why I was crying. I just cried.
I never thought I could still cry ‘till high school. I thought it was all done. I thought I didn’t felt that really, really bad. But I was wrong. A small group discussion between me and my friends opened everything. I was shown the sadness hatred has given me. Yes, I hated my pop. And it was already in high school that I realized I’ve hated him since that incident when I was still 8 years old.
In high school what I felt towards my father was pure hatred. There comes a time when I didn’t already mano to my pop. I acted as if he’s not around. Whenever he’s with me I couldn’t concentrate. All I want to do is vomit and mock at him. But I can’t. Maybe there’s still respect left. But I don’t know if that really is respect or was just I respecting his human rights.
In college a bit has changed towards my relationship with him. From bitter it became better. On the first semester of college I realized how lucky I am to still have my pop though he’s like that. And my classmates made me realized that coz many of us have the same family problem. Our pops has been the burden of our maturity. But for them it’s normal. So I treated mine as normal as theirs. I became to recover my good heart.
During the second semester, in my first year in college, I learned to forgive my pop. I wrote a letter to him voicing out all my hatred towards him. I asked him not to blame anybody else for what I felt on him. I told him that nobody’s to blame but himself. I said sorry for hating him and all. Then I felt free. I felt as if I’ve resurrected from my grave.
Since that time I never felt anything bad towards my pop. I try to reconnect with him and resolve our relationship. I thought that would really happen when suddenly in my third year he had another concubine. And this time is the worst. All the people in our community know his being a womanizer and that the girl he was with was a residing in our place. And only I and my mom didn’t know about this. I felt betrayed and fooled again by my own pop.
Then I discovered courage. Yes, it’s DISCOVERED coz I have no courage then. I was a yellow-bellied person coz I can’t tell my mom and pop about my feelings. But coz I was so hurt already I had the courage to tell my mom about the things I knew about my pop. She even teased me coz she thought that I'm gonna tell her about a boyfriend or something. And so I corrected her and start telling her everything I knew. I started from the moment when I was in third grade to the time that I hated pop to the last thing I knew. She was shocked of course but she listened to me. And we were crying.
Coz of that incident, that many people in our community already know my pop’s issue, he (my pop) decided to go to his place in Siay, Zamboanga Sibugay. I thought he would stay there forever and ever and would never ever come back to us. I felt mixed emotion. I was happy coz finally he’s gone in my life. I was sad coz I’ve no father anymore and my mom would surely be sadder than ever.
I never hated my pop again though he has another mistress. But I was just so down for being betrayed by my own flesh.
From the month of May ‘till late December of 2008, my pop was there in Siay. I thought he would never come back. But, I had a wrong premonition again. He came back before Christmas. Having that in mind alone I was shock. I was really, really shock. I didn’t know how to face him. I didn’t know how to mingle with him. I even asked myself, “is this really happening?” And so I said to myself, “alright, as long as my mom is happy I’ll be happy.” That was what I thought. I didn’t further asked my mom about the issue. I didn’t pursue on asking her about her plans in filing a divorce case against pop. I was just timid. I didn’t mind pop being there as long as he does not gonna do anything that would hurt my mom again. I promised myself that I would protect my mom in everything may it be against pop.
But just when I thought everything’s fine I discovered something on December 22, 2009. Now, this date shivered my body. This day I heard my pop calling somebody. I wasn’t sure who it was but I’m sure it was not mom. It’s sure thing it was his concubine! After hearing that, I was stoned. I was about to burst into tears but I held it. I don’t wanna cry coz I wasn’t really sure if that guess was right. But, deep inside my heart I’m feeling something really suspicious. I really felt bad.
However, feeling bad wasn’t the real deal. It was the fact of either telling my mom about what I heard or not. Honestly, I wanna tell my mom about that but I don’t want her to cry anymore. I don’t want to ruin her Christmas. I want her to be happy. With regard to my pop I wanna confront him but I can’t. I’m such chicken-hearted. I can’t even tell him directly that I hated that call! And the worst is that I don’t even understand what I feel. I don’t wanna hate him anymore. I’m sick of it. But with what I’m doing now I think and I feel that all these crap will go back to the beginning. I think I will HATE him again.
Labels: hurt
+ yaNix + 12/26/2009 04:49:00 AM
To see you is such a bless
To smell you will be a delight
To hug you is what I want
To kiss you is what I long for
But all these will never happen
Because ‘till now you’re nowhere
I long for you my dearest one
Come to me and be my man
+ yaNix + 12/26/2009 04:48:00 AM
I’m just a kid
To play is my game
To live is my dream
I’m just a kid
In nowhere I live
Where Peterpan breathes
I dream of fairytales
Which my mind entails
Where Peterpan is real
I dream everyday
Because it’s where I want to be
To live in my dreams and forget my sad memory
But I know I won’t be there forever
Because forever is never
Because my reality is the obstructer
+ yaNix + 12/26/2009 04:35:00 AM
12.21.2009
my life was once a fairytale. and i once thought it was a fairytale. i feel happy all the time. i know nothing about pain.
as the years go by it changed into something terrible. i thought i could escape from it. well, i did. i actually did. but still it haunts me as if i killed somebody.
i don't understand why it has to go back. is it revolving like the earth does around the sun? or am i just dreaming that it has ended back then?
i've known hatred. i've faced demons. i've been the devil. but i changed. i suffered my consequences and i've realized to take the demon from me. i've made it just so i thought he has made it. i thought he really did. when suddenly a phone call opened my vision.
yes, again, i think and i feel that he still has his girl or should i say girls?
you know what? this is where i could only unravel my guilt feelings and dirtiest emotions because no one listens to me. nobody exactly understands me. my friends are different. and i am different.
i wanna end all these useless rants. i don't wanna shout of pain and shits. i simply wanna live. but i don't know how.
right now i don't know what to think. i don't know what to feel. i'm numb. and i wanna be numb forever.Labels: hurt
+ yaNix + 12/21/2009 10:58:00 PM
i heard it and i'm hurt. i don't wanna harm myself. but should i let HIM harm me again - to harm my mother again? before i promised myself not to hate him. i vowed to be a good daughter - the best they can ever have. but now i don't know. i don't even understand why i have to hear all these bullshit calls from someone who could be his CONCUBINE?
tell me, is he HAPPY WITH US? i was so happy then. i was so happy when i gave up on my hatred. i was so happy and free and all. but now, should i still be? when all i hear are these freakin' senseless calls which could ruin our family?
why? why would he have the guts to stay with us? to promise us roses and heaven and happiness? oh god! please let him realize of his mistakes. i make mistakes i know. but, if he's not happy anymore being with us then why suffer? why is he forcing himself to be with us when he's not happy anymore? when he's not in love with my mother anymore?
can anyone answer me? can you let him out of my life?
i know i'm not yet that independent nor mature enough. but i know what love is. and please, just please, go. don't ever come back. i don't need your endless vows. I DON'T NEED YOU!Labels: hurt
+ yaNix + 12/21/2009 10:51:00 PM
okay. this is the one of the so many pictures during our christmas party at marvilla beach. only the edcom majors were part of this party since it was a party for our dc97 major but we also invited some edcom major graduates and some super seniors.
i am that girl in the middle wearing, of course, white. hahaa..and i'm drunk...
i hate and i love that night. i hate it because, obviously, i got super duper drunk. i got selfish. i wasn't able to control my alcohol in take. i love it coz it's fun and happy..weeee
+ yaNix + 12/21/2009 10:18:00 PM
12.13.2009
It's so ironic that when we're young we force ourselves to act mature but when we're old enough we long to find the child in us!
-dianeriva
+ yaNix + 12/13/2009 02:47:00 AM
we used to say, "been there, done that". i guess it's normal. i mean an average person would SAY these words. but, could i say these? SHOULD i say these? well, in my life i haven't gone in the open yet. i mean i haven't really experienced what it is like living in the ourside world - the real world. i've seen people suffer and seek after what they really want. but still it's not enough. i suffered myself. many sufferings and bullshit things happened to me done by the many factors surrounding me. i never gave up. but still it's not enough. right now i'm still wondering if i could at least say, "been there, done that".Labels: hurt, rant
+ yaNix + 12/13/2009 02:42:00 AM
if relying my character to the so-called role models i have would devalue my self-esteem and put my life to waste, then i would gladly dispose them not in a way of forgetting them but by looking at them as humans and not as the goddess of my dreams.
this is what i thought just this morning as i was in my room all alone. i really don't quite understand why i've suddenly, out of nowhere, thought of this. maybe it's because i've been nuts all this time. i mean i tend to just hope for a lot of impossible things. i've been clinging into the wildest of wildest ideas out there. i've been engrossing myself with the thinking that someday, somehow i could attain my selfish and demeaning fantasy.
i know i've gone bad. and of course it's not for the better. it's for what i think would make my life better and easier. and yet i know that it wouldn't! it'll just hinder all my simple wishes. the wishes i once considered as big. the simple wishes but the real once. yes, i've traded that to the big and impossible wishes because i now consider myself big and mature! but just this morning i've realized i'm not because i still cling to my imaginations.
so for now, i'm gonna forget about 'em and focus on this real world!Labels: realizations, wala lang
+ yaNix + 12/13/2009 02:35:00 AM
12.12.2009
i know i am too ambitious. i even call myself as the goddessdreamer which can be translated into ambitious! but what can i do with that? it's normal to have ambitions right? and so i'll be posting a picture of a person who i wanted to be. hmm, not to really be like her. i'm not a poser. i am still who i am. i am not saaboteur or her other posers. i'm just me. what i wanted to say is that i just wanted to be as cute and as pretty as her.
this is saab magalona.
+ yaNix + 12/12/2009 07:11:00 AM
that pic on the lower part is me...the other is kaye abad...i guess in this pic i somehwo look like her..haha
+ yaNix + 12/12/2009 06:55:00 AM
that one wearing a black dress is me. the other is kaye abad a filipina actress. i don't think we look alike but it's okay. i like her in a way. haha.
+ yaNix + 12/12/2009 06:52:00 AM
oh this is me. obviously before and after..haha
+ yaNix + 12/12/2009 06:45:00 AM
this is the script of my experimental film called the 28th trial...oh btw i called it as such bec i've saved it 28th times...haha
Diane Riva A. Tina-an
BSDC 4
DC 96
TITLE: UNSOCIABLE KILLER
Characters:
Sophia
She’s introvert. She doesn’t open up her secrets or anything about her that much to other people. Instead, she writes everything she feels and thinks on her blog. The cyber space is the one she considers as her happy place where she can freely rants. She’s skinny. She has a long, black, straight hair. She looks gothic but tidy. She’s nineteen years old.
Isabella
She’s extrovert. She’s cheerful and is always happy. There’s always a smile on her face. It’s her way of revealing herself. She got a long, curly (and/or dreadlocks) hair. She’s around twenty one or twenty two years old.
Costume:
Sophia
She wears pants, shirt, and slippers.
Isabella
She wears pants, (statement) shirt/sleeveless, slippers.
Makeup:
Sophia
Light makeup or a little lip gloss and eye liner.
Isabella
Light makeup.
Setting:
Xavier University – Ateneo de Cagayan campus. Basically the story will take place around the said campus. However, the story does not necessarily portray the attitude of the students enrolled in the university. The story will happen in the said campus because the characters are portrayed as young college students.
Sub-settings:
The other part or places which will be part of the film are the XU benches near the soccer field, old high school benches, main gate, comfort room, one of the classrooms, and library.
Sound effects:
Some of the sound effects will be a frightening sound (usually heard in horror films), scream of a girl, girl crying, slapping of the face,
Conflict:
The conflict of the story started when Sophia writes a story about a murder. The story did not happen to her. Probably it just came out from her imagination. Then as Sophia continues writing, Isabella does every single thing she writes. Then one moment they came across each other. They see each other in the comfort room. They don’t know each other yet but deep inside their minds, someone’s telling them that they probably met someplace. Sophia is fixing herself. She combs her hair and put on a little lip balm. Then Isabella enters the comfort room. As they see each other, Sophia’s paper (where she writes the second part of her story) drops on the floor. Suddenly Isabella feels weird. She looks at the mirror where Sophia is staring at her reflection. Then Isabella runs away. She gets out of the CR and then she drops her voodoo doll (key chain).
Resolution:
When the ending part reveals that everything is just a story which comes from another person’s imagination.
Screenplay:
Scene 1:
Both Sophia and Isabella wake up from their dreams.
[Both the characters are shown in one screen.]
Scene 2:
Sophia enters the XU main gate.
[A long shot of Sophia entering the main gate.]
Sophia went into her happy place – the library.
[As she enters the library, long shot will be used. When she’s about to go upstairs, back view will be used and also medium and close-up shots.]
Sophia gets a book and sits on a chair.
[As she gets the book, medium and close-up shot will be used. Medium and close-up shot will also be used when she sits on a chair and reads a book.]
Scene 3:
Isabella enters the XU main gate.
[A long shot of Isabella as she enters the gate.]
Isabella went into the old high school benches where her friends are.
[180 degrees shot will be used before she went to old high school benches. Then long shot as she starts walking towards the old high school benches. And medium shot when she see her friends. Long shot will be used to show her distance between her friends.]
Isabella sits with her friends.
[180 degrees and medium shot.]
Scene 4:
Repetition of scenes 2 and 3
Scene 5:
Sophia starts to write a story.
[Close-up shot as she writes the story then medium shot and depth of field.]
Scene 6:
Isabella felt something weird happening on her body.
[Medium and close-up shot.]
Scene 7:
Repetition of scenes 2 and 3
Scene 8:
Sophia continues writing her story. This time she states in her story about a group of friends literally fighting (slapping one another).
[Close-up shot and depth of field.]
Scene 9:
Isabella starts slapping her friends. And her friends did the same thing too.
[Long shot]
Scene 10:
Repetition of scene 2
Scene 11:
Sophia continues writing her story. This time she states that finally the bonds between friends is totally gone.
[Long shot and depth of field.]
Scene 12:
Isabella felt bad. She is all alone and sad. She goes to the benches near the soccer field.
[Long shot as she walks. Medium shot as she sits on the bench.]
Scene 13:
Repetition of scene 2
Scene 14:
Sophia states in her story that because of a sudden breakup of friendship, the female main character of her story decided to kill herself.
[Close-up shot.]
Scene 15:
Isabella goes to the comfort room and looks for something. She searches for something which she can use to end her life. However, she failed. So she goes inside one of the cubicle. She sits on the floor and cried.
[Long shot, medium, and close-up shot.]
Scene 16:
Sophia goes to the comfort room.
[Medium and close-up shot.]
Scene 17:
Sophia goes out of the comfort room. She goes to the canteen. She looks for something to eat. But, there’s nothing she likes. So she goes out of the canteen and decided to finish her story. She sits at the benches near the soccer field.
[Medium, close-up, and depth of field.]
Scene 18:
Isabella goes out of the cubicle. She wipes her tears off. She fixes herself. Then she remembers her happy days before she had broken her relationship with her friends.
[Medium, close-up and depth of field.]
Scene 19:
Repetition of scene 3
Scene 20:
Sophia passes by while Isabella and her friends are laughing. Sophia stares at their group.
[Long, medium, close-up, depth of field.]
Scene 21:
Isabella stares blankly at herself through the mirror. Then she goes out of the CR.
[Close-up and depth of field.]
Scene 22:
Sophia smiles as she writes her story. While she continues writing, Isabella sits on the other side of the bench where she also sits. Isabella is so lonely but she did not notice Sophia. On the other hand, Sophia did not also mind Isabella. Sophia just writes her story.
[Medium, close-up, and depth of field.]
Scene 23:
Sophia stands and goes to the CR.
[Medium, long shot.]
Scene 24:
Isabella sighed and stands. She goes back to the CR.
[Medium and long shot.]
Scene 25:
Sophia is fixing herself when suddenly Isabella enters. They are both startled upon seeing each other. No one moved. Both of them stared at each other through their reflection on the mirror. Sophia drops her things on the floor. Isabella runs out of the CR.
[Medium, depth of field, and close-up shots.]
Scene 26:
Isabella screamed and drops her voodoo doll (key chain). She is horrified.
[Medium and close-up shots.]
Scene 27:
Sophia is dumbfounded. She stayed there without moving. After awhile she reads her story and felt nervous. She then hurriedly went out of the CR as fast as she can…
[Medium, close-up, and depth of field shots.]
Scene 28:
…but before Sophia could make it, Isabella is already at the door. Isabella is holding a knife and she attack Sophia with her knife.
[Medium and close-up shots.]
Scene 29:
Repetition of scene 1
Scene 30:
A face of someone smiling while writing something.
[Medium, close-up, and depth of field.]
THE END.
+ yaNix + 12/12/2009 06:39:00 AM
i was about to change the background color of my blog. unfortunately i just don't know how to do it. i surf the net. and i tried it. but i fail. so this night, i will end there. i won't force myself to learn html right now coZ it'll just ruin my night! haha. btw it's so obvious that i'm of no html knowledge coz i didn't even do this myself. i mean the design is absolutely not mine. it's sozie's. she's a classmate of mine. thanks to her. i owe her a lot for this. but, i did the description of myself and all this blogs you read.
+ yaNix + 12/12/2009 05:48:00 AM
12.11.2009
it's not february yet but people are falling in love <3 <3 <3....
i wonder what december has for them???
is this really love???
or just infatuation???
hmmmLabels: love
+ yaNix + 12/11/2009 07:32:00 AM
"I don't live for thesis" (Lao, 2009)
a classmate of mine would say. yes, in fact if i was on his behalf i would surely not live for thesis. yeah, it's nice. i mean it's sooo hard to do paper works specially if it is this serious. but, at the end of the day i am bound to make this. so all i can say is "Thank God i'm done with this".
+ yaNix + 12/11/2009 07:23:00 AM
i do admire cats!
Labels: pets
+ yaNix + 12/11/2009 07:22:00 AM
p.s. i didn't made this. it's nice but it sounds racist
Labels: racist
+ yaNix + 12/11/2009 07:19:00 AM
12.09.2009
oh well, this is the poster i made for our dc97 class...haha...i traced the hand wrongly...look at it!
+ yaNix + 12/09/2009 08:04:00 AM
12.08.2009
DIANE RIVA A. TINA-AN
Damulog, Bukidnon riva09_dreamer@yahoo.com
8721 09159386479
EDUCATION
Ø Bachelor of Science in Development Communication – Xavier University – Ateneo de Cagayan, Cagayan de Oro City, June 2006 – present
Ø High School Graduate – Bukidnon State University, Malaybalay City, Bukidnon, June 2002 – March 2006
EXPERIENCES
Ø 4th year Representative – Development Communication Society – Development Communication Department, College of Agriculture, Xavier University , 2010
Ø Associate Staff – Agriculture Student Council - College of Agriculture, Xavier University , June 2008 – March 2009
Ø Election Committee Staff – College of Agriculture, Xavier University , February 2009
Ø Volunteer – CINEMAGIS , Xavier University, January 2009
Ø Volunteer and Facilitator – Orientation Seminar 2008, Xavier University, May 2008
Ø Facilitator – Gender and Sensitivity Seminar - DC7 Seminars in DEVCOM, Xavier University, October 2008
Ø Costume Department staff – DC 8 (Introduction to Development Theatre and Folk Media) - Development Communication, XU Little Theatre, Xavier University, November 2008
Ø Promotional Department staff – DC 6 (Communication Media and Society) – Unseen Shadows Concert, Development Communication, Limketkai Center Mall (Rotunda), March 1, 2008
Ø Working Committee – 1st Mindanao Agriculture Forum, College of Agriculture, Pearlmont Hotel, Cagayan de Oro City, 21-22 November 2007
Ø Volunteer – Local Election 2007, Maramag Central Elementary School, Maramag, Bukidnon
SKILLS
Ø Basic Photography
Ø Computer Literate (Adobe Photoshop, Microsoft Power point, Microsoft Word, Windows Moviemaker)
Ø Dancing
Ø Hosting/Facilitating
Ø Photo Montage
Ø Diorama making, Flipchart making, Puppet making, Sound slides making
Ø Scriptwriting (radio plug, radio magazine, story for puppet show and diorama)
Ø Writing (Editorial Column, News and Feature Article)
SEMINARS/TRAININGS ATTENDED
Ø International Youth Convention Philippines ’09 - Limketkai Mall Atrium, Cagayan de Oro City, January 31, 2009
Ø Natural Family Planning Seminar – DC 7 (Seminars in DEVCOM), Barangay 13 Isla de Oro, Cagayan de Oro City, July 2008
Ø PECOJON- the peace and conflict journalism network, northern Mindanao chapter, Xavier University, December 2008
Ø Xavier University’s First Digital Filmmaking Workshop - IMAHE NASYON FILM, Xavier University, Cagayan de Oro City, 24-25 November 2007
p.s this due to not blogging for so long...haha...just wanna blog something..
p.s
Labels: and i, me, myself
+ yaNix + 12/08/2009 05:10:00 AM
As the song of, (I forgot the band), goes. Oh well that is in fact double meaning. If you see kay – a sentence and F U C K – as in fuck you! And that is exactly what I’ll tell ________ & ___________.
I’m no hater but I’m no lover as well. I feel neither of the two therefore. But, I simply don’t appreciate what’s going on because it’s full of childish acts and immature decisions. It’s childish because it’s always a fight-and-friend kind or relationship or a love-hate-relationship as some may call. And to tell you almost all of which are nonsense! Really not worth the fight! Immature decisions because it’s always a make-or-break-type-of-relationship. Today they’ll break up. Tomorrow they’ll get back. It’s like, “Duh, what are you jerk? Can you just please explain what you two have!”
Obviously this blog is not about me but what I feel as a friend. I think they should clearly define, “what’s the real stand between them before patching the gap they’ve created”. It shouldn’t be a makeup and then break up relationship coz that’s just bullshit.
Oh forgive me.
Labels: backstab
+ yaNix + 12/08/2009 04:57:00 AM
“Friends of the same feather flock together”
As the saying goes.
Before, I really didn’t quite believe in this. I mean yeah I know that this is somewhat true but not totally. People are still different. I mean you can never say that Filipinos go together because they’re of the same race, Christians understand each other better coz they believe in one GOD, etc. Its’ not like that. Friendship may be too broad but it is more than that. It goes beyond. But at this moment I could start saying, “Yes, I believe in this”. Still I don’t want to but with what’s happening to me right now, I don’t know.
I’m already becoming like her – a friend. I don’t want to be coz I want to be different. I want to be me. I want to be good like me and be bad like me. I don’t want to be like her because I hate most of her attitude. Pardon me but that’s true. She’s just okay but I don’t really understand her at all. Forgive me but I’d rather beg and kneel to someone to just let me be myself again than be like her.
Labels: friends
+ yaNix + 12/08/2009 04:54:00 AM
Just today, as in this day, my friend uploaded loads of pictures on her facebook account. It’s labeled dc look alikes where the pictures are ours (dc 4th year) including some of our teachers and the celebrities who are somewhat physically similar to us.
Hmm, uploading the photos didn’t make me upset my professor but commenting on his photo did. Actually I really don’t know if that’s the case but to my surprise he didn’t like it. He got three local artistas whom we think look like him. He did not really mentioned that he didn’t like it but he commented , “No homo!!!!!!!!!!!!”. That made me think. I don’t get it if he likes it or if he really hates it. There was no hint of anything.
With regard to his feelings I don’t know what exactly he felt. But to me, I just hope I didn’t upset him.
P.S. i wrote this yesterday and that happened yesterday..
Labels: professor
+ yaNix + 12/08/2009 04:50:00 AM
I hate myself. Oh, I forgot. I already made a promise not to hate myself. Tk3. Anyways, this is not another hate-myself-forever blog or something. These are the things which I somewhat hate about me.
Hmm, you believe that people change right? Right. I’ll take that as right. Haha. So this is it. These are the things which I really, really hate about myself. But before I start, I would like to make a caution! I will be naming 19 things which I hate about me because obviously that’s the title. Second is that I’m already 19 now. hmm. Haha. So here it is.
- I hate the fact that I do backstab people even those close to me. (I’ve learned this from my current group of friends which I already try to refuse to do.)
- I hate it when I start to mind and notice about people’s quirks. (Another learning from a friend. Hmm, not learning actually but I called it that way coz I don’t know what to call it.)
- I hate it when I try to be somewhat superior to others.
- I hate it when I act as if I know everything. (I’m not even good at anything.)
- I hate it when I get so insecure with what’s good happening to other people.
- I hate it when I shout at my mother.
- I hate it when I do everything to just be away from my family.
- I hate it when I don’t let others see that I am, indeed, happy whenever I’m with them.
- I hate it when I try to pretend or make plastikan.
- I hate it when I lose my temper.
- I hate it when I want to be literally alone, as in alone.
- I hate it when I start to wander while the others are having fun. (This makes me realize that I am no longer happy with their company.)
- I hate it when nobody understands me anymore because of my weird attitude. (This is so true coz at times I even don’t get to understand myself!)
- I hate it when I act immaturely.
- I hate it when I don’t speak or smile. (Because whenever I don’t people think of me as snob and unfriendly.)
- I hate it when I don’t understand what others do.
- I hate it when I don’t have any idea on something. (This totally makes me gag. I feel as if I’m such a loser!)
- I hate it when I don’t act as myself.
- I hate it when all I could do is be with the people I used to be with even if it makes my life harder and bitter.
So that’s it. Some of these may sound really, really weird and I don’t know. But honestly I really don’t want to be a backstabber anymore. I just couldn’t stand it coz people think of me as such. Even those who don’t really know me that much think that I’m no good. They think I’m only good is searching for chikas and all. I want to change that attitude coz in the first place that is not totally me. And secondly I never dreamt of becoming as such.
Labels: bad habits
+ yaNix + 12/08/2009 04:48:00 AM
I doubt if this is happiness I feel. First I have to define what happiness is. But wait, what really is happiness for me? Is it when I see smiling faces? Is it when I don’t see a single drop of tear? Or is it an intense emotion of peace and glory?
Defining what happiness in my life is not all that matters. What I exactly feel is so much that I couldn’t even describe it at its simplest form. I am happy. But, I seldom ask myself if it is really happiness I’m feeling. I even don’t understand why there’s this longing I’m feeling whenever I’m away from my family and then extreme emptiness from the back of my mind when I’m with them. Yes, of course I am happy with them. I feel so protected and safe. And I can say that the security I’m feeling is what makes me agitated and afraid.
Indeed I am afraid. Of course I wanted to be cared for – to be pampered by those who truly love me. But, at times I just don’t like the feeling of taking my liberty away from me. I feel so much pressure whenever I’m surrounded by my family. They think I’m good enough coz I got good grades. But it’s not enough. They think I’m good enough coz I don’t go against their will but I do. I certainly do. I so love the praises and affection but I so hate the intensity and extremity of these emotions they show. I can’t breathe anymore. It’s like I’m dead.
For example, my graduation is fast approaching. It’ll be on march 27, 2010 and they have planned already to attend and even plan to have a short beach-vacation. Yeah, surely I would appreciate their goodness and all that but I don’t think I can handle it. I mean they’re getting into my nerves sometimes. I just don’t know how to react coz they’re super-duper sensitive which makes me go gaga. I know a lot of kids out there are wanting to have a family like mine. But the problem is I just can’t breathe. I can’t be me. I mean, I feel I’m placed inside this round bubble which tries to strangle me all the time until I cannot be able to escape.
Escape- yes that’s the word I used but it doesn’t mean that I want to be away from them. Of course I’ve no plans is leaving away from them. I love my family and they mean the world to me. They just have to be quite liberated with what’s happening right now. The world changes so does people so they better give in to the liberty of being open-minded, of knowing how to understand the new generation, of knowing how to accept me. I know they would understand and accept me but I’m not sure how and when. I am at my best self when I’m with them but I can never be at my worst. I’ve no plans in showing them how bad I am when they’re not ready either to accept those people like me – those people who want nothing but to find their lost selves. I don’t wanna lose my family and I don’t wanna lose myself. But, behind these heartaches I have there’s one thing I can say, my family is the best and is the most supportive people I ever encouneter.
Labels: happiness
+ yaNix + 12/08/2009 04:45:00 AM
Graduation is fast approaching. Before graduation comes I was busy with my thesis. Actually it’s not just MY thesis but OUR thesis. Yeah, we’re three in a group. And then finally, after more than a semester of keeping busy with it, we’ve made it. We’re binding our thesis already. Whew! It’s really a relief. And then now, what I have to do is learn PHOTOSHOP. Yeah right I have to learn it wholeheartedly. I know the basics already but I HAVE TO BE A MASTER of it. It’s one of the soft wares I need to know. In college I’ve learned a lot. I’ve known how to do PHOTOSHOP, ULEAD and PREMIERE. Yes, I make promotional materials and I’ve made films. Hmm, those were not really good films just right in order to pass the subject. Haha. I hope all these learning could really help me after I graduate.
@_@
Labels: busy
+ yaNix + 12/08/2009 04:44:00 AM
Why I love to write? Hmm, actually I’ve no idea. It just came from someplace. Then, booo, I just liked doing it. To be honest I really don’t like writing. Actually it’s really one of my hated things to do. I hate it and love it at the same time. I hate it because it’s tiring. I love it because I can just write whatever I have in mind. It’s like my way of releasing all these unwanted tensions. But you know what’s great about writing? It’s the fact that it can be as hard as climbing a mountain and can be as easy as killing a mosquito. I’m no killer though but I just compared its easiness to killing a mosquito because a normal person does that hassle-free.
Oh….I must love writing…today and forever…..
With regard to my major, I’ve no regret with my decision. I love to be an educational communication major but right now I also want to be a development journalist. I love my chosen major but I also want to learn the proper rules of writing.
I wanted to be a writer in any way!
I badly want to be a writer!
I am a writer!Labels: writing
+ yaNix + 12/08/2009 04:43:00 AM
Childish. Small. Cute (better calling for ugly looking). Stupid. Nonsense.
Yes! These are all what people call me. These are what people know about me. And, if given a chance to tell something about me, probably, these would be what they’ll label me – IMMATURE.
I do believe that, in a way, I am immature. I can sense that coz I know myself. But the question is do I really know myself? Or should I say, do I really like who I am?
At first, of course, I don’t know what to believe nor to say about this. Before what I think is plain meaning I do lots of stuffs a child does. I act like a child. Therefore, I’m normal – an ordinary kid who simply wanted to be appreciated by most people especially those whom I value. However, as I get older I sense that there’s something different in me. I’m beginning to get busy thinking about what others think of me. I’m beginning to be so self-conscious. And that was where all these crap started!
When I was still in grade school, of course, there were no feelings of regrets, self-importance and those entire self-proclaiming attitude. What I mean with “self-proclaiming” is that attitude wherein you try to pretend to either be like someone famous or just plain pretentious. Back then I was so happy. I was contented with what I have. I feel good whenever I’m with my friends. I feel the love from my family, friends, and everyone. I feel important. But as I paced forward, as I get into high school, I tend to be timid as if I’m enclosed in a box where nobody could hear me.
Fear. If I’m right, is what I exactly feel during my high school days. Everybody, my classmate including my teachers evoke fear in me. I couldn’t help it but cry. Well I didn’t literally cry all the time but I’ve cried for the so many times already. At that moment I didn’t felt respected because almost everyone mocked me. They didn’t show me love. And I was so helpless. I almost wanted to give up especially because I’ve nobody to cry on. I didn’t tell my parents nor any of my family members about this. I continue to pace forward. I continued my journey. What I wanted was to really graduate as soon as possible to get away from all the wreck I was in. What made me stronger are my friends. Yes, I was into a lot of trouble – trouble which are cause by the people around me and by myself. If I had no friends I wouldn’t be able to graduate. Probably I must be a high school dropout. I’m no emo or something like that. But it’s true. If it’s not because of my friends’ presence and love I wouldn’t be here where I am right now. Sure I haven’t reached any of my BIG DREAMS yet. But all I wanted to say is THANK YOU to them. I know they wouldn’t be able to read this but thank you in a way.
The following years is my college time. Whew! All I could do is sigh. I’m so nervous still like I was in my first day as a high school student but this time it’s different. My life bloomed. I bloomed. I can say that this is my favorite years as a student ever! Though many people would contradict that high school is the best, for me it’s a different thing. College is just THE BEST! It’s best because you are not accustomed into following bullshit rules. Forgive me for the term. You are not obliged to be with the same crowd all the time. You could see different people in a day like you can have different groups of people with different beliefs, courses, and from different places and colleges. Everything is varied which makes it more beautiful and unique. Whereas in high school what you do is pretend you like everything even if you feel like vomiting.
Well, that was my life. That is still my life. The only difference is that before, when I was still a little younger, I tend to think and act like somebody else. I pretend to be like somebody else. I tried to copy kc conception, maxene and saab magalona, heart evangelista, anne Curtis and all those pretty young celebrities out there. I wanted to be like them because I thought it’ll be better. I thought I will be BETTER. But I was wrong because I didn’t get better. I get BITTER. My life gets boring coz every now and then I changed my image. Well actually I wasn’t really able to literally change my image. But, I was hoping to change my image. I’d tell myself, “You’ll be fine all you have to do is be like her”. But I never felt fine. Instead I learned to hate myself to just hate everything ugly in me. I hated my face coz I’m not pretty. I hated my nose coz its flat. I hated my teeth coz their not perfect. I hated my height coz I’m too small. In fact, I even hate it when people praise me regarding my physical appearance coz I don’t believe they really appreciate me coz I think they just want me to feel good about myself. I hated myself coz I’m no pro in anything may it be in linguistic or logic. I plainly hate myself. But, as I venture into writing that is blogging, I’ve learned many things. I learned that I don’t need to be famous, beautiful, or smart just to get respect from anybody. I don’t need to be like somebody else just to prove to people my worth. And that all I should do is respect and love myself to also gain love and respect. And lastly, I am a daughter of God which means that I don’t need to please anybody else because in the end we’ll all die and the only being you have to please is your creator.
I may be dork but I’m not dumb. I may be stupid but I am smart.
P.S. The last statement may sound weird and ironic but once in awhile we tend to be mature and at the same time immature. There’s always this child in us which proves our imperfection. The irony always comes its way like at times you can be a dork or the smart aleck type.Labels: childish
+ yaNix + 12/08/2009 04:39:00 AM
p.s. i didn't made this. it's nice but it sounds racist