[ call.me.patience ]

[ D.I.A.N.E. ]

My life has been out in the open

since i started blogging.

However, you will never find the word "shame"

inside me.

No matter what people say

i will always be what i want to be.

No one can stop me from

voicing out my opinions.

I may change but nobody can change

the fact that i am a girl with millions of dreams.

These dreams are may be that hard to grasp

but there'll always be ways of tasting it.

[ The Memories ]

+11.2007+
+12.2007+
+01.2008+
+02.2008+
+03.2008+
+01.2009+
+02.2009+
+03.2009+
+05.2009+
+07.2009+
+08.2009+
+09.2009+
+10.2009+
+11.2009+
+12.2009+
+01.2010+
+03.2010+
+04.2010+
+07.2010+
+08.2010+
+09.2010+
+10.2010+
+11.2010+
+12.2010+
+01.2011+
+04.2011+
+05.2011+

3.09.2008

confusion..........that's what i'm feeling now. i don't know what and how to tell it to anybody. sometimes i wanna cry. and i hate myself. i just don't understand why i have to shed tears where in fact it's not my fault after all. it's his. yet i cry so often. now he's nowhere to be found. i don't know where to start. i don't know if i should be able to find him again. this happening just sucks! it's getting my nerves. i wanna slap him and blame him for everything. but what can i do? i'm just a child to them. i am not gonna be any better if i'll be blaming him all my life. besides if i do that nothing will change. the truth would not be hidden. it will remain still. huh, if only i have the power. if only i could erase the past. if only i could i really would. unfortunately i can't. i can't change everything. i do not have the authority nor the right. i don't wanna see my mother cry because of him. i really don't want this feeling. yes maybe i'm indulging myself too much in htis. but i can't help it. whether i like it or not i can escape from it. i am totally involved in this. he's my father and now i don't know what to call him. i don't know if he is still a father to me or a total stranger. but before i end this agony i have to find hm. i am gonna find him. but, where is he???

Labels: personal, rant

+ yaNix + 3/09/2008 08:55:00 PM